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these ideas are nightmares.

11/4/04 08:30 am - follow the white rabbit....

lastones. sometimes it's time for a change. like washing your hands of those things you did when you went out last night.

some of us can't wear white satin gloves and come home clean.

10/28/04 10:56 pm

Someone's got a secret that's been found out. I really hope your love for me would have died by now, but I guess my words aren't sharp enough to make you realize I was nothing of what you thought.

Then again, I've probably been found out here, too. My own mistake; I accidentally submitted a comment without first clicking on 'anonymous.'

So maybe it's time to run, yes?

10/28/04 10:32 am

I think the cravings have passed. Best for that to happen before mistakes are made. But then again, sometimes I don't care. I know how to use, justify my past with the other gender. Take it all back.

I can't sleep anymore. It only bothers me sometimes. I started the layout of my painting. [tape, permanent marker, acrylic, lamp.]

The splenda commercial looks like my nightmares.

I am two years old again, or stepping back to a time that feels like that sorts. I decided after watching my friend on weed, that stoners are hot. I like when I have simple, shallow laughs and thoughts like that. But only on occasion.

10/25/04 11:30 am

Maybe it's time to be a little hellbound again.

10/24/04 11:02 pm - Fetish.

10/24/04 09:30 pm

I have so much to say, but somehow, nothing at all.

You never know what it's like to be liberated, until you tell someone to get out of your life. It's like a handful of power.

I'm angry, as usual. I'm alone, still. I'm just going to fade into the background for a while, somehow.

10/24/04 05:25 pm

behind a gun.
we've built our god
around our
dirty seams.
but in this cage
this black
we feel more
cradled by our
hate and our

10/23/04 10:37 am

Under this harsh light, it's difficult to find anything beautiful. But somehow, the way this is surreal, the way that the fog freezes around us as we press on for one common goal.

People look at me as if they were seeing ghosts. Two years away... I suppose I can see why, but only sometimes. I feel older than them. I have pressed on, changed, molded into something new. That life that I lived is alien, and I have a new appreciation for where I am. How I have stepped ahead, when people live in their fast food restaurants, in their cheap stores and safeway. I've found my place, and I know that now.

10/19/04 12:50 am

Insomnia. -_-

Peter's saving my ass, by getting pictures of the Van Halen concert set up for me, and possibly getting me work with the union tomorrow night, and the nights to come.

10/17/04 09:27 pm - Answer.

Imagine me
So far away
Head so strange
Like your forbidden
Etching your truths
Into my mind
My stigma
Your dreams

Hear the voices
Of your ghosts
Hands seeking their ways
Into your shadows
Beckoned to rest
Where you belong

Light stretches
Away from me
Like fragmented pieces
Of broken hearts

See we could be so dark
If we weren’t so afraid
Our misguidance
Miles of blood strewn earth
To part our dreams
Hand in hand
Hearts apart
If I turned this corner
Would you run away

Maybe I’m the only one
Who wants to see your face
Maybe you’re the only one
Who wants to hear my words
And only loving you
Can prove to be
So strange

Imagine me
Never so close
And sharp breaths
At your mercy
Would you hate
If I pretended
That you were mine
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